The Glue from Hell

 The Thrifty Rocketeer blog continues...

I know that the topic of glue will produce eye rolls, as it has been discussed to death.

But this tale is different.

My father passed about 27 years ago, and he was a wood worker.  As a result, his carpentry skills were sharp, and nothing he built ever collapsed nor was substandard.  I have many things to thank him for as a result.

But about five years ago, when I returned for my 40th high school reunion, I stayed in my mother's house and was very surprised to find a bottle of wood glue on the shelf above the basement steps tucked among cans of Sprite and mosquito spray.

It was Titebond II, and about 8 fl oz as I recall.

Now, I had never used Titebond before, preferring Elmer's Wood Glue because of my childhood experience with Elmer's White Glue in school settings.

So, I was a bit surprised to see the bottle on the shelf, where I figured it must have sat for at least 20 years.  I asked my mother about it and she shrugged, saying she didn't remember where it had come from, but that it was probably my father's.

I had seen reference to Titebond on rocketry threads and knew that some preferred it. So I asked her if I could have the bottle.  She said "Yes" and that she didn't know that she would ever have any use for it.  I slipped it in my left pocket away from my keys as I walked out with my hands full of stuff.  I carried the bottle out to the car and left.

Now, I was wearing shorts and a polo shirt as I left that day, preparing to drive the six hours back to my home. In fact, that evening, there was a meeting of the local ski club at an area restaurant that I was trying to make.  I don't ski much, but they had reached out to me, so I attended their meetings.

I got to the restaurant, fresh off the road, and changed into another fresh polo shirt.  I realized that I still had the bottle of glue in my left shorts pocket, but as the polo shirt was un-tucked, it hung quite a ways below my belt and would disguise the bulge my pocket. 

I walked about the restaurant bar, making small talk as we waited for the meeting to begin, and I had absentmindedly tried to put my left hand into my pocket... finding the glue bottle there.  But something was wrong.  The bottle, still intact, felt wet.

I pulled my hand out and sniffed it, and discovered that it stunk something terrible.  I excused myself and went out the car again, pulling the squeeze bottle from my pocket.  Someplace along the trip, the bottle had folded, and the weakened plastic cracked.  The glue was now oozing out of the bottle each time I sat or moved it.

I checked, and my pocket was mercifully not soaked in a puddle of glue, but it was damp.

For a moment, I considered trying to save the bottle...perhaps storing it upright in the cup holder of the car.  But the smell of that awful glue, festering in my car, just turned my stomach.

I walked back into the restaurant and asked for a couple of paper napkins. When I had them, I pulled the bottle from my pocket and realized this had cracked it even more.  Now my pocket was soaked with this stuff.

I went around back to the dumpster and tossed the leaking bottle into it, along with most of the paper napkins, which I had used to wipe out my shorts.  I stuffed a wad of napkins back into the pocket and returned for the rest of the meeting.

I mingled with the crowd, but had the sense I was being avoided.

Finally, one of my closer friends leaned over and asked if I was feeling alright.  "Sure" I replied, "I'm just tired from being on the road so long.  Why?"  

He leaned closer and said, "You appear to have wet yourself, and you stink."  

He was right. I hadn't realized that the aroma of the glue was still very noticeable to those who had not been exposed to it.

I laughed and explained about the broken bottle of glue.  

He nodded, but said, "But Titebond doesn't stink like that."

I retorted, "It might if you had stored it in an unheated basement for more than 20 years."

I excused myself and drove home. I ditched the shorts into the washer and immediately ran a load of rags and towels and things that would never come clean.

To this day, I don't know if I was smelling Titebond, or something that had separated over the years.  And I don't care to ever know that smell again.

Do you use Tightbond II or III?   Do you think it smells?  Let me know.

This has been the Thrifty Rocketeer saying, remember to cap your glue!